CSSM MB Summer Missionary Manual - Standards 5
Standards of Behaviour
E. Counselling Teens
Christian counselling involves both giving counsel and care. This kind of care involves healing, guiding and reconciling people to God and each other. It is our desire to help our youth become whole people. This involves the mental, physical, social and spiritual aspects of their lives. Our goal must be to deal with the underlying problem, not just the symptoms. It must also be viewed as a team effort between God, you and the person (Romans 15:1; Galatians 6:2).
1. "Ethics in Counselling"
a. Respect the person's dignity and worth. See them and respond as God would.
b. Live, act and counsel in accordance with godly values.
c. Work towards their best interest, not yours.
d. Don't force your help on anyone. Be sure not to manipulate or use guilt in your counselling.
e. Fully inform them of where you are leading them.
f. Never exploit trust or dependency.
g. Share the bounds of confidentiality at the outset.
h. If feelings of attraction begin in either party, terminate counselling immediately.
i. If the relationship is destructive to you, terminate counselling immediately.
j. Never counsel if the person is under the influence of alcohol, drugs or illness.
k. Never create false expectations of favourable results.
l. Keep information confidential unless the person's welfare is at stake.
m. As a general rule, only share information if the person consents.
n. If you are in a situation that requires professional counselling, be ready to admit it and refer.
o. All counsellors are legally bound to report physical abuse or neglect of a minor to the provincial child protection service or the police. Anyone who does not comply with this law is subject to a fine and/or a jail sentence.
2. Youth Counselling Distinctives
a. They need to form their own identity and self-esteem.
• You can help them by building into their character.b. They are adapting to rapid physical changes.
• This can add to the confusion in many situations.c. They are adapting to sexual changes.
• Weird feelings, fantasies and confusion make decision making more difficult.d. They are struggling with dependence vs. independence.
• Teens are beginning to move away from their parents and yet know that they love and need them. This struggle can make them irritable, argumentative, irrational and difficult. Usually the conflicts arise from difference in opinion on how much freedom they can have. Don't take sides... ever!e. There is an increasing importance of peer and intimate relationships.
• They need approval and often overreact to rejection.f. They are forming all of their life-directing values and beliefs.
• Most of these lessons (careers, lifestyles, behaviour and even problem solving) need to be learned experimentally.g. They need to develop a wider variety of social/interpersonal skills.
• Dealing with conflict, coping, stress, temptation, study, productivity, interaction, authority or handling money all need to be understood and developed.
3. Response to Problems
a. Repression is exhibited through denial, pushing aside and trying to
forget. This often results in more serious behaviours such as eating disorders, anger, apathy, poor achievement, withdrawal or substance abuse.
b. Suppression is not an activity of denial but an attempt to hide it from others. Behaviours may be similar to repression but could be expressed through running away, substance abuse or suicide.
c. The antithesis of repression and suppression is expression. It is an obvious negative outward response that may be exhibited through anger, quitting school, lying, stealing, substance abuse, defiant behaviour or rebellion. These responses are a way of 'crying out for help* and may lead to serious depression.